I used to have time to read my comics in a coffee shop. Now I have to read them in the bathroom. Then I write reviews of them. I wash my hands in between.
IRON MAN ANNUAL #1
The House of Ideas has REALLY done it this time. The boldness in their marketing synergy/strategy to get me to spend more money has really gone off the deep end here with this.
So I start reading this comic and have no idea what's going on. There's (thankfully) a recap on the first page telling me something about an Iron Man story called 'Fatal Frontier'. Now, admittedly I read a crap-ton of comics each month and it's next to impossible to keep up with all the story lines (especially when there's no recap page-looking at you DC!). And I may or may not have tuned out during the whole adventure in space/ god killer storyline recently so it's entirely possible that my confusion is through only fault of my own. But they are talking about some Russian robot on the moon and something called 'moon mercury' and I'm starting to think strange things are afoot at the Circle K. So I finish the book and head for my smartphone (which had not accompanied me to the can in this instance) and punch it into Google....
You wanna know why this story seemed confusing? It's because I hadn't READ the damn thing yet. You know why??? Because it's a digital comic. So Marvel, geniuses they are publish the wrap-up story to their digital, online only story, in a paper Annual and tell readers 'want to know what's happening? Go online or buy the collected volume in May!!!’
Mother F***ers!
I think that one of your inalienable rights as a comic book
reader is that if you follow a series and pick up the annual, the annual will
feed into and off of the current storyline. Nope!! Not here! The first story
out of the gate is something a scant few are even going to know about. Ugh!!
Come ON, Marvel! That's like a bait and switch move for your core audience. Not
cool, Marvel. Not cool.
The rest of the short stories in this 4 color sham are pretty self-explanatory. There are three stories here. The second one features Arno (Stark. You know. The secret, actual birth son of Howard & Maria Stark, who's been living in an iron lung his whole life? No? Well, that part I remember) negotiating with some space pirates whom he enlists to the cause when the need for a team to man the space station that’s in geosynchronous orbit over the former Mandarin City that Tony has taken over and is rebuilding as 'Troy, City of the Future' arises. Breathe. It's cute and shows a little more of Arno's character as he negotiates. But it also sets the stage for a future confrontation between brothers as Arno is told about the wonders of Extremis and how it could change his life. Somehow, we are expected to believe, Arno, who is connected to all of Tony's systems and databases, doesn't know about Extremis. EVERONE knows what Extremis is.
The third story actually goes into the background of a character we just met in the last issue of the regular series. SHOCKING! An Annual doing what an annual is supposed to be doing?!?!? We see how Tony's PR guy, Marc Kumar, came on the scene by letting one of his former clients puke all over Pepper Potts. In a bit of a whirlwind romance, he asks Pepper to marry him while she asks him to come to work for her. Apparently they are still dating.
The score card is thus: 2 of the 3 stories in this book matter to something you've read. The biggest, lead-in story? Is just an attempt to send you scurrying to your computer to buy the digital story. 'Nuff said.
The rest of the short stories in this 4 color sham are pretty self-explanatory. There are three stories here. The second one features Arno (Stark. You know. The secret, actual birth son of Howard & Maria Stark, who's been living in an iron lung his whole life? No? Well, that part I remember) negotiating with some space pirates whom he enlists to the cause when the need for a team to man the space station that’s in geosynchronous orbit over the former Mandarin City that Tony has taken over and is rebuilding as 'Troy, City of the Future' arises. Breathe. It's cute and shows a little more of Arno's character as he negotiates. But it also sets the stage for a future confrontation between brothers as Arno is told about the wonders of Extremis and how it could change his life. Somehow, we are expected to believe, Arno, who is connected to all of Tony's systems and databases, doesn't know about Extremis. EVERONE knows what Extremis is.
The third story actually goes into the background of a character we just met in the last issue of the regular series. SHOCKING! An Annual doing what an annual is supposed to be doing?!?!? We see how Tony's PR guy, Marc Kumar, came on the scene by letting one of his former clients puke all over Pepper Potts. In a bit of a whirlwind romance, he asks Pepper to marry him while she asks him to come to work for her. Apparently they are still dating.
The score card is thus: 2 of the 3 stories in this book matter to something you've read. The biggest, lead-in story? Is just an attempt to send you scurrying to your computer to buy the digital story. 'Nuff said.
No comments:
Post a Comment