I used to have time to read my comics in a coffee shop. Now I have to read them in the bathroom. Then I write reviews of them. I wash my hands in between.
FOREVER EVIL #6
Holy Sweet Buttered Crap! Stuff is starting to happen! It only took 4 issues of pussyfooting around but now we’re getting somewhere! Final battle and all that
So Batman and the Legion of Doom finally assault the crashed
Watchtower satellite in order to take out some Syndicate and rescue Nightwing.
Some appropriately amusing banter between the villains and between Luthor and
Batman happen along the way. They find Nightwing, but, holy crap, The Grid
(Anti-Cyborg?) has plugged him into the Murder Machine, which basically
explodes if he DOESN’T DIE.
MORAL QUANDRY! Batman refuses to kill his partner in order
to stop the countdown even though Dick knows it’s the only way and keeps
telling him so! Lex Luthor has no qualms about it and blasts Batman and suffocates
Nightwing! His heartbeat flatlines by the time Batman can pull Luthor off of him,
Luthor tries to tell him it’s not too late but Batman is blinded by RAGE!
MEANWHILE the rest of the LOD is looking to kill them some
Syndicate members and make the most important discovery of the whole series but
don’t realize it. Firestorm is in the building! And therefore so are all the
missing heroes! But they don’t have time to discuss this because the Crime
Syndicate arrives in full force and start pounding on them! But not before
Black Manta kills the Syndicate’s Alfred and he and Captain Cold discover THE
PRISONER!!!!
Now, look, I’m not stupid, ok? I guessed who The Prisoner
was from the first panel he was in. Anybody that knows anything about the
Syndicate, Earth-3, or any of the history therein knew who he was too. But what
I didn’t guess was that he was also…not yet.
BECAUSE CAPTAIN COLD TOTALLY TEARS UP ON JOHNNY QUICK!! In
an extremely smooth move he triggers his freeze gun (cold gun, whatever) and it
freezes Quick’s leg which Cold then shatters! Atomica is trying to find a way
into Black Manta’s pants (that’s right) but can’t and is horrified at what
happened to Johnny! It’s nice to see some cutting loose happen and the villains
get to enjoy some kinda sorta retribution of their own.
Oh, but then THEN!!
MAZAHS!
Not only is The Prisoner Earth-3’s Alexander Luthor
(surprise to no one), but he is also that Universe’s Shazam! Only he is a bad,
bad motor scooter. His first act one all lightninged up is to snap Johny Quick’s
neck and, apparently, absorb his power. Not sure how that works but the
Syndicate is pretty damn scared of him so I’m guessing our heroes need to watch
out for this cat as well.
But, hold up. You’re the Crime Syndicate. You go through
this whole big thing to come take over our Universe. You research, you plan,
you compromise a dude’s machine half and turn it into its own free roaming evil
robot. You go so far as to bring this ultimate enemy of yours with you to the
new Universe for safe keeping. But when you get here, not only do you not kill
him, you secure him by tying him up with some ropes and slapping some duct tape
on his mouth so he can’t say his magic word (which is just Shazam backwards.
That’s pretty lame ass, Mr. Johns). That makes no got damn sense except as a
plot device, and a weak one at that. Even Nightwing, whose only power is to
jump and hit and kick real good, gets a bad ass Murder Machine to be stuck in.
Now, there seems to be more to the whole Dick Grayson thing that we should
hopefully find out next issue, but come on. Slap some handcuffs on Alex or
something that ANYONE that finds him can’t take off him.
So everybody is scared, the tension filled switches back and
forth between scenes are tight and well devised, Alex threatens to kill
everybody to become the best hero here, so he’s clearly as crazy ass as that
dude in Florida who got busted for having sex with his Pit Bulls in his front
yard.
What? It’s real. Look it up.
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