I used to have time to read my comics in a coffee shop. Now I have to read them in the bathroom. Then I write reviews of them. I wash my hands in between.
NEW AVENGERS #16
Come ON, Marvel! What are you doing to me here?? Another alternate universe, thinly veiled Justice League amalgam? Mr. Fantastic builds a machine that can look into any number of potential universes and outcomes, and you immediately go down the Squadron Supreme road? And not even well! This is a cheap shot wrapped around a need to spotlight a magic user with a helmet. You can do better, Marvel and Jonathan Hickman, specifically. I know you can. I mean, you didn't even change the name of Doctor Spectrum. Lazy!
We do start out with some fun banter between T'Challa and
Namor in a framing sequence that sets up this world with a weak sauce
impersonation of a Justice League. Reed Richards' machine is up and running and
Black Panther is on monitor duty. Namor drops by and their lingering distaste
for each other is palpable. The Panther has discovered a world that has
survived two incursions by this universe destroying phenomenon in new and
different ways. T'Challa shows a world where the Marvel heroes we know we're
killed off during their version of the Secret Invasion and this faux Justice
League rose in it's place. Since then they’ve become a real team of heroes,
regarded highly by the world and loved by them as well. They seem like good
people. They have worries and concerns, they regret their destructive actions,
they strive to be the heroes the Earth deserves. Then come the incursions. They
have battled back several of them, but each time they are concerned with what they
will have to do, what they will have to become, in order to repel the next one.
The Superman representation says that he respects that all things must die, but
he refuses to accept the unnatural acceleration of it.
Wait a tick.
Didn’t Reed Richards say pretty much that exact same thing?
I KNOW he did because it’s on the recap page every issue! And it is a known
fact that I LOVE the recap page. So things change, things stay the same. Their
Doctor Fate (called The Norn, ANOTHER shout out- to the stones of our Marvel U)
has to split himself into three duplicates, then he puts on the helmet of one
of these Black Priest guys who seem somehow to be at the center of all this
mess. He then has enough power, and can say the magic words he need to destroy
the incurring world. How that reconciles with their above concerns I don’t have
a clue.
So they do it. World blows up. Their world is saved. Life
goes on. Namor, characteristically flip, ends the book with ‘Well. That is
something different.’ I can only assume this means they will bring in Doctor
Strange to try to recreate what’s going on with this Justice League and apply
it to our world. But really, that’s all for this book. Not much really happens.
We’re on our world for maybe 5 pages, then the rest is us being force fed the ‘look
how clever we are!’ Batman is dressed like a knight! The Superman (Sun God because,
you know, Kryptonians get their power from the sun) calls him ‘Wayne’! Every
time I hit an issue like this I have to stop and hope it means something more
to the overall story. I am, more and more, leaning towards just getting the
trade paperbacks of my titles. Then, I wouldn’t be sitting on the can shouting ‘That’s
it? That’s all there is? Come on, you can do better than that’ and making my
roommates wonder about my self-motivation techniques.
OH, ALSO! It’s got a big #1 on the cover! No, I didn’t miss
the bowl, I mean a REAL #1, and a #16. For no apparent reason!! This is the
middle of a storyline, there;s no associated ‘sub story title’ that usually
accompanies this phenomenon. Nothing. No reason for it. So maybe Marvel is just
slapping a big #1 on all their books now, regardless. Wouldn’t surprise me.
Buyer beware!!!
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